Sunday, April 22, 2007

Month 2 - milestone

11 Apr 07: weight 4350gr, height 55cm
22 Apr 07: weight 4760gr, height 55cm
31 Apr 07: weight 5010gr, height 55cm
8 May 07: weight 5420, height 57.25cm
First sleeping in: Saturday 15 April 2007, Oliver slept in from 9.30pm to 5.30pm. Mama did not sleep waiting for him to wak up, worrying sick that he is starving. Anyway, the nurse at the mother & child centre put my mind to rest when she weighed him and he put on 410grams in 10 days (they would like to see children put on between 15-30grams perday so Oli's weight gain is above average - yooouuuuu little piglet!!!!!). She said the reason why he sleeps through is because he has enough during the day, but be WARNED - this will change!!)

First big smile for Mama & Daddy: Saturday, 21 April 2007 with a little goo noise. Made our day!
First lift his head 90 degree: week 6

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Control freak 'Stepmother'

I am one of those people who thought parenting was an easy job and that I would handle it just fine and that I would be back to my normal routinity in no time.
You see, I am a textbook person. I like everything to go accordingly to the textbook, I plan everything waaaay ahead and got stressed out when things don't work out the way I plan (which usually the way they end). This is why my friends said I am a control freak and that I would be a 'stepmother' (like the one in Cinderella) to my own kids trying to be in control.
Even before Oli was born, I had my plan on how to look after him perfected in my head. You see other women having babies and you think it's easy, but now I'd say you have to spend at least 24 hours with them to know how it is like exactly being a mother. If you were like me, you'd judge those mothers for only a small amount of time, and already you'd think about things that you would do and would not do if it was your own child -- then your baby comes along and nothing works to your list.
I knew the first few weeks were going to be hard and that I would loose some sleep but I was being a smart ass thinking that it would be a piece of cake. Actually I was being a smart ass about the whole 'I'd be a good mother straightaway' thing and that I can fit the baby in my schedule. It takes a lot of work and practice and it takes your (and his) whole life to learn it.
Going out after the initial shock and restless nights doesn't get much better straight away as well. My baby is such an angel (like all other mums would say about theirs), we generaly don't have any difficulty putting him down for a nap or nighttime sleep. He's been following some routine since he was 3 weeks old, which is great because all we need to do to make him sleep now is by putting him in his cot and he's been sleeping in at nights since he's 5 weeks old but of course there are some odd days when all he does is crying and that is something that we need to be flexible about when planning our day (or mine during weekdays).
The other day Sharon and I planned our first outting, which ended up just having coffee at her place because it all got too hard. You see, you can plan your schedule around, but babies don't have regular schedule. You can plan to go out and come back just in time for his next scheduled feeding time but then he wakes up half an hour earlier than when he's supposed to be up - would you tell him to follow his schedule and go back to sleep?). It takes a lot of organisation and planning to go out. He would need to be fed, changed and by the time we're ready to go, we would only have 1-1 1/2 hours before his next feeding time (three hours slots really doesn't mean anything if you actually only have that much time between each feeding to do your chores in between) . I still can't be bothered to try to feed him outside (eg at babies room in the malls etc., since that would mean spending at least half an hour feeding & changing gim in these early days)
At the end I really don't want to do it to my baby anyway (well, not yet). I would go out and rush my way around just to be home on time for the feeding, or if I go out with him, I would rush my way around so he doesn't wake up on the road and crying and I had no way to console him (Mum said, "Shopping is fun, but not with you because you always in the rush to go home". Hey, don't blame me, it's only 5 weeks since my life changed forever.) It breaks my heart to see him crying either in pain, in hunger, or just searching for comfort. Call me soft, call me undiscipline, tell me that I am making it difficult for myself, but wait until you have your own child and you'll call it mother's love.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Confession of the Milking Cow

Allow me to introduce the new me. I am a mother - a very cranky mother since I hardly remember what a goodnight sleep feels like, my life has changed completely since baby Oli was born. I live on three hour slots basically, starting from the time he screams his lungs out (he's got very healthy lungs by the sound of it), which means it is his feeding time, to the next feeding time. I never feel so much being used by a person - literally - as a milking cow.

Baby Oli is a sucker - or maybe he just loves mummy's lovely milk. But breastfeeding does not come natural to me. Now if it is a natural thing, how come both mother and the baby need to learn to do it in perfect harmony? If it is so natural how come I have been in constant pain from the first day?

From the first day, everyone has different opinion. They said it shouldn't feel uncomfortable but then they said it was normal to feel uncomfortable since I might still be tender and need some adjusting period. What the???

Other girls that I spoke to at the new mother club didn't have any problem with breastfeeding and that made me feel something is wrong with me.

After some soul searching (starting from being a showcase in front of midwives in the hospital to make sure he latched alright, to calling the breastfeeding association lady and talking to the nurse at the mother & child centre), I finally decided to get a lactation consultant. The day I rang the breast lady (Scott has a different term for her, too rude to put it down here), Mum (who happened to be staying with us) objected straight away. See, again we have different opinions. Mum said it has only been a month, while in my opinion it has already been a month.

The breast lady and I went through the technique of latching and some other issues. The day when she came and visit, Oli slept through for 7 hours at night (with mummy not able to sleep waiting for him to wake up). I am still waiting to see if I can actually put all the theories into practice.

Fingers crossed...

PS. New pictures of 4 weeks old Oli are in the baby album on

Sunday, April 08, 2007

First time mummy

After the initial shock of being a mother, I realised the hardest part of the motherhood is that we are no longer a couple, we are a family now. You can't just do things impulsively, can't go out just whenever you want to (organising bub to go out turned out to be a very hard work and takes a long time), can't go out too long (need to coincide with bub's feeding time), and your spouse it no longer the only most important person in your life.

It is not all fun but it's wonderful journey (I thought newborn only wakes up to eat and poo and spend the rest of the day sleeping - little did I expect that they are capable of driving mummy crazy with their high pitch cries). I am enjoying the motherhood although it is still feel surreal - it has been 4 weeks but it still hasn't sunk in yet for both Scott and I.

New first things for the first time mummy (moi):

* First nappy change
Eeks.. what is that yellow gooey thing in his nappy? How do you clean him? It is funny how two educated people actually get clueless in these things and need to get someone else (the midwife) to show you how to clean his botbot and change his nappy. Fortunately the blackish sticky poo didn't last for very long (well on the serious side, it's called meconium which is the first baby's poo and they only last for 3 days) Eventually you get used to the smell and the colour and the frequencies (how could a tiny thing dispose that much stuff it's a mistery to me!)

*First poo and wee (on me!)
We bond together looking after bub. It might sound cliche, but looking at Scott talking to Oliver always gives me a warm feeling because we share our love. We share experience and responsibilities like a team when we look after him, bath him, feed him, put him to bed, even play with him. It is just amazing.
And I never thought that I would put up with someone peeing and weeing on me.
*First excursion (with baby)
First baby excursion was to the baby shop to get his first stroller. And I just could not believe so much preparation needs to be done just to go to the shop which almost practically around the corner. Everything is about timing - we rushed out the house just after he finished his breakfast (didnt' even give him time to burp yet) and I kept looking into his little capsule to see if he's awake when it was time for his next feed. In the second excursion to Ikea a week later, we actually got trapped in the traffic and I was so nervous and cranky because I just want to get home before he screamed and I couldn't stop blaming Scott for choosing that route home.

*First excursion (without baby)
.. is as nerveracking as going out with the baby. Grandma was home to look after him when Scott and I went out for Sharon's prewedding barbecue. The minute we left home I felt strong urge to call home straight away. I gave it half an hour, because my hubby said I HAD to. Rang mum after half hour and about 1.5 hours after we left home. "Has he eaten yet? Is he asleep? Is he being fussy?" and mum went, "YES... (now leave me alone).." Well she didn't actually say that but I read between the lines.