Saturday, December 30, 2006

Week 30 - Pregnancy bites

My body:
* This afternoon Scott looked at my tummy and said, "Oh my God. You're so big... " Duuuh.
* Dreams... I think I started to worry about the labour that the other day I dreamed that I had the most beautiful baby and the labour only took five minutes. Hah, you wish!
* I am slowing down inevitably. Walk a few metres and I am out of breath, run the vacuum cleaner for a few minutes and I am exhausted.
*Bending over is SOOO difficult now. Until recently, I have never realised so many things need to be done by bending over, including clipping your toenails, tie up shoes, and even putting on pants!

My little peanut:
Weighs around 1.1 kg and measures about 38 centrimetres from head to toe. Testicles descend from near the kidneys through the groin en route to the scrotum. His head is getting bigger, and brain growth is very rapid at this time. Nearly all babies react to sound by 30 weeks.

I finally had a big emotional breakdown. All these emotions creeping down on me felt like suddenly exploded. The night before we went to Orange (for Christmas), it just downed to me that all these changes in our life will happen in two months! Bursting into tears I told Scott that I was worried because things are not (never) going to be the same again, there won't be time for only him and me anymore. All the things that I haven't done.. all the things I still want to do... My selfish part of me is dreading all those things, but of course I know all these changes will make our life better.
Me: (sobbing) "I feel unattractive, I feel ugly and insecure. I feel that you love me less"
Scott: "Oh don't be silly. You only think you feel like that, it the pregnancy emotion talking"
Me: "I don't know if I am ready to be a mother. Our life will never be the same.."
Scott: "Yes, of course. It will be even better!"

Travelling to Orange was proven to be a very hard work. Being 7 months pregnant and spent 9 hours in the car are not very good combination. A few toilet runs and a very sore back later, we arrived in Orange. The kids could not get out of the house fast enough to see my protruding belly...

Christmas in Orange, as usual involved a lot of food and desserts. Unfortunately all the food left me worried big times. I had a few sips of Scott's champagne thinking it should be okay but then changed my mind about it and worried all night. One night I had an english trifle at Janelle's and after I finished my share, David asked if the port 'was enough and can be tasted in the trifle'. Oops.
We ate a lot of cold meat as well. I tried to stick with the turkey which I knew Scott's mum made herself but when we finished the turkey, I could choose between eating the pork and the ham or being vegetarian (I ended up eating everything else but the ham since Scott said mum cooked everything except the ham). I feel so out of control.

We found out that Janelle, who initially didn't want to know the sex of the baby, accidentally found out from Holly, her daughter. So when I told it to Karen's daughters (Karen didn't want to know either), Karen said, "Oh no, they will accidentally tell me.. " and made me promise not to tell Ben the youngest so he couldn't tell her. Which I did alright, until I managed to let the secret out myself! I said "he kicked a lot during the night", then realising what I have done, I looked at her in horror - and it hit the spot. Ding doooong... (at least she found out on Christmas day!)

We left for home on the 29th December with lots and lots present, and got home with extra sore back!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Week 29 - Baby octopus

My body:
* Heartburn is driving me crazy! I am taking it every day now, trying to stick with one tablet a day but I have a feeling this dose will go up soon. Feel like an addict.
* Fatigue and short of breath.
* Am bigger.....
* And toilet is my best friend now.

My baby:
* Baby is very very active and kicking everywhere at the same time. I am convinced that I am carrying a baby octopus in my bump!
*Baby is also kicking a lot when I put classical music (a lady I rang about classical music for babies told me that I should put one particular song at least twice a day so he will recognise the sound and hopefully calm him down after he is born). Sounds like he's protesting - maybe he's a rock and roll baby?

Nothing much happening this week. Went to visit Dr Campbell for my monthly visit. Went well and fast, as always. He said baby is growing steadily (steadily? Steadily 'bigger'?), all in the right place (ie. head is down now - and I thought he wouldn't move until later on the stage).
He said about the trip to Orange - "is not the problem" (what does he mean?) "although it is going to be very uncomfortable" (fyi. sitting in the car for 10 minutes has already made me uncomfortable now) "as long as the membrane doesn't rupture - you have 2% chance. If it breaks then you have to stay in Orange"

Had dinner on Friday night with Sharon's family who were here for one of the twins' graduation - at which they insisted that I have to eat more and more because I am eating for two now, whereas just the opposite, I couldn't even put much in my mouth to feel tummy extremely full and about to explode. (When people said they were so full that their tummies can explode, they obviously never felt FULL and PREGNANT).

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Week 28 Stretching.. streching...

My body:
* still growing big..... I think tummy is a bit disproportional now! Can't even cut my toenails anymore without big effort!
* Increasing appetite and sweet tooth - I have been getting up in the night to have midnight snack. I wish I didn't get hungry all the time now, especially with Christmas coming! What a bad timing! Who knows how much roast beef/pork/ham that I will consume during the Christmas period next week, not to mention the ice cream and the Christmas pudding etc etc.
* Bladder must be the size of a pea pod now baby is taking over most of the space - have to go almost every half hour!
* My sciatica (pain in the leg) is very bad nowadays. Sometimes I couldn't hold my weight on my right leg and it can be very sore, especially if I have been walking a lot during the day. Will see how it goes this week - I might have to go to a physiotherapist to see if they can fix it!

Little junior:
He is getting bigger and getting stronger. Weighs approximately 2.4 pounds and from this point forward, his weight gain will be due to increasing amounts of body fat. His movement are very defined now and sometimes giving me uncomfortable feeling (especially when you're trying to get to sleep). Sometimes after he kicks I would rub my tummy or press the spot gently and I could feel a part of his body underneath, before he moved it. A few minutes later he would kick and I would do the same again - it's like playing hide and seek!

Scott was away in New Zealand until Friday. One night I stayed awake researching on the net for babies names - we have one potential one that has been approved by some people - it's not a final yet, we are trying to get used to the name and see how we feel for a while we still have time to change our mind!

Went to see a few daycares as well this week - at one of the daycares I have got a little boy who was very friendly and gave me a cuddle. Gave me a warm feeling - imagine how it would feel with my own little boy?
There is still a part of me that is not sure if I am ready for motherhood but big, huge part of me can't imagine not having this little child in my life already even though he's not even born yet. They say you'd never know your ability to love until you have children and they are right. You just want the best for your child and that even start when he's still in your womb.

Move your blooming arse!!!
On Friday night we went to dinner at the Moonee Valley racecourse with Scott's colleagues.
It's the first time that I visited a race so it was rather exciting. Scott and I and Georgina actually picked trifecta winners on the first race even, but when we actually put money on our bet it didn't work out that well, as predicted.
We put the bet on the last race with all of our money (which summed up to $12 all together - what a poor couple!). It is all derived from good analysis, you see... I put it on number 2 (for my birth date and the horse name is actually Lady Lyn) and Scott bet on number 12 (for his birth date and the horse name is Diditformum and it was Scott's mum's birthday that day), lots of good factors for them, don't you think? Of course we just over analysed, although mine came third and with the 4 dollars that we put on that horse we will get something out (we haven't get the money from the TAB yet but Scott reckons we will get about 5 dollars out of it :P). One of the guys from the table won $1000 on that race. We put 20 dollars each on the punters club though (where they choose the horse for us) and at the end of the day we went home with $115 each. Not bad, especially since work actually paid for that 20 dollars!

Pilates and Yoga
After months of not doing any streching, I did pilates and yoga both in the same week! Went to Sharon's pilates place in Richmond and although it was good (could feel that I stretched the muscles that I haven't been using for ages) it's bloody expensive and I can't really afford it. They said I couldn't claim it to my private insurance because I haven't done the initial examination yet. Not really wanting to do initial examination there because it's just to far and I might not be going regularly.

Meanwhile, yoga is very interesting. It turned out that there is a yoga place just within walking distance from here that has prenatal class, so I could've done it ages ago (very ashamed of myself). Under normal circumstances I would hate the class. We lied down for the beginning and end relaxation with the Indian music in the background(that mis- tracked a few times on the cd player) and a very soft spoken instructor - I got restless at the beginning but at the end I sort of fell asleep (it was boring). I was surprised that I enjoyed the real yoga postures though. As much as I'd like to pretend that the pregnancy didn't slow me down, my body can't pretend that I wasn't pregnant and I think this is the only exercise that my body can handle at the moment.

Christmas shopping was unbearable as well. I had to sit down every half hour and it just tired me down. Glad it was over and done with, but I am not very looking forward to driving 7 hours to Orange next week.

Well I guess I am just a big pregnant woman now....

Saturday, December 02, 2006

week 27 - 3 more months to go

My body:
Apparently, as I mark the days of my third trimester off the calendar, my body will continue to change and grow. I WILL gain weight more rapidly than in my first or second trimester, and my breats WILL increase in size and weight - up to FOUR times larger and heavier. One word: EEEEKS....
* It's happening.. third trimester is the most uncomfortable stage because baby is growing rapidly, which means you are bigger as ever, get fatigue easily, and short of breath all the time because the uterus is now up near the rib cage (apparently this also is influenced by how you're carrying your baby - whether it is low and small, or high or big - which in turn is depending on your build, how much weight you gain and of what diet you gain it for. I am petite (or used to be) but definitely not carrying the baby low and small! Anyway, my tummy is as hard as rock most of the time, and the heat (Melbourne has been around 37 degrees the past 2 days) is making me very uncomfortable.
* Bleeding gum - Mine is not too bad actually since it is only on one spot and only bleeds when I floss - but I noticed it is getting slightly worse. The gums, like the mucous membranes of the nose become swollen, inflamed and tend to bleed easily because of pregnancy hormones. Book suggested to take a lot of vitamin C and calcium, and also check with the dentist since if left untreated, gum disease increases a woman's risk of having a premature or low-birthweight baby (note to self: find a dentist)
* What causes heartburn during pregnancy? During pregnancy, hormone and physical changes may cause stomach acid to flow up into the esophagus. The hormone progesterone, produced by the placenta, relaxes the valve that separates the esophagus from the stomach. This allows gastric acids to seep back up the pipe, causing that unpleasant burning sensation. Progesterone also slows down the wavelike contractions of the stomach, making digestion sluggish. In later pregnancy, your growing baby crowds your abdominal cavity, slowing elimination and pushing up the stomach acids to cause heartburn (Which is why Mylanta & Rennie are my new friends now).

My Peanut:
His facial features are almost fully developed and synchronizing enough that he may make faces that are visible on an ultrasound (would it be like Scott? or would it be like me? Apparently Caucasian gene is stronger than Chinese but who knows - Mum is Javanese so there might still be a possibility...)
His skin is becoming ticker and fleshier and increasingly wrinkled, thanks to the amniotic fluid.
The brain is active this week as well. The characteristic grooves on the brain's surface start to appear and more brain tissue develops.
He's been having a lot of hiccups - also moving and kicking alot.

My third trimester. It said that I have to be extra careful now with what I eat because my immune system is now somewhat suppressed. Oh my GOD! I had a bratwurst dog in the market yesterday and I am completely paranoid about it now....

Lani arrived from Auckland on Tuesday morning and stayed with us until friday. I thought having Lani would be like having mum around - forcing me to have the exercises that I need. Two reasons why this time it didn't work: firstly, Scott was away so we got the car and almost drove everywhere. Secondly, we spent most of our time sitting down and eating and having a chat so not much walking involved. And to make it worse, I also felt like I am on holiday so I ate alot of unhealthy snacks and ice creams and all the things that I didn't need.

It's good having a company while Scott is away. We caught up a few times with Rui and Lani's other friend in Melbourne - spent time on the beach, looking around the city but most of the time, relaxing and taking our time.

As much as I enjoyed though - I felt too pregnant sometimes. It is getting hard to keep up since I don't have the same energy, also going out at night without alcohol is not as fun - few times I fell into the comfort zone of staying home, putting my legs up and have the air conditioning on, rather than being out and about at the pub. Am I getting old or just boring?

I just realised that I am not very happy with this doctor since he's just ignoring my questions or, to put it in more subtle way, doesn't really acknowledge my worries. My visits have been very short and everytime I asked something he just cut to the chase and did not even try to reassure me. I know he's been there and done that (old doctor he is!) and that he must have come across hundreds of new mummies to be like me, but that should make him more understanding that a lot of first timers are more nervous than others. It's a bit too late to change doctor now so hopefully he's really good in delivering babies.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Week 26 - Baby whisperer

My body:

* Weight is going up steady no matter how I control my diet. It is still within reasonable range but every Friday morning (my weighing day), I still hold my breath when I step on that damn scale!
*Am bloated most of the time. Oh deaaar... It's one those situation where eating or not eating doesn't make any difference so you might as well eat.....

My baby:
is almost 1 kg, and hears noises, responds to light and is generally more aware of its surrounding. In the same way that you can see a flashlight if you hold it against your palm, the baby can see the light coming through my belly. His hearing is fully developed and as he reacts to sounds, its pulse increased.

Aaargh.... 26 weeks! Where did time go? Next week I will be going in my third trimester... In a short order, i will be a (giant) walking canvas of diapers, breast milk and poo... probably longing for the calm of being a Lady of Leisure I am now. I can't yet fathom the life with the baby but people said I should definitely enjoy the boredom of not doing anything at the moment, I sure won't have any leisure time when junior is born. There is a worry that the carefree side of me will rebel - I still have my chick lit book next to my pregnancy book on my bedside table. And although I have been piling books about choosing the right nursery and all the baby stuff, I still haven't actually read any and still choose Paulo Coelho over them.

I have put the dvd of baby whisperer (not sure what it's called though) by this Australian woman, Priscilla Dunstan, on my Christmas list. She was in Oprah the other day and on Australian TV yesterday and claimed that she had unlocked the secret language of babies. A lot of parents swore that understanding the sounds that babies make have made their life so much easier and more relaxed - especially for new parents.

After studying more than 1000 babies between 0-3 months old, she said she had identified 5 words that babies say (coming from their bodies' needs and are manifested in their cries), regardless their culture or races.
Here they are:
"Neh" means "I am hungry"
"Eh" means "I need to burp"
"Owh" means "I am sleepy"
"Heh" means "I am experiencing discomfort"
"Eairh" means "I have lower gas"

Scott went "Neh" "Neh" all night when I went "Eh" "Eh" in reply (due to the bloating).

I have made an appointment to check the daycare centre facilities in the area for next week. As suspected the waiting list is about a year at the moment (eeeks...) and I was suggested to put my name down as soon as possible. Not to mention these centres are not really cheaper one from the other. I'd still like to get junior to socialise in early age though - good for his development and my sanity!

Dreams and Emotions
No moody feelings for me, thank God. I hardly feel hormonal or emotional during these months. What I found funny though, is, that even though I dont' feel like crying or yelling during the days, there were nights that I have had dreams where I had very emotional fights with people in which I was very very upset and angry and usually ended up screaming at those people. Had those dreams with mum in it, even my ex boyfriends, but thankfully never with Scott (otherwise I would be very concerned! As a matter a fact, in those dreams where I had emotional upsetting episodes with my exes, I woke up and felt very blessed that I am with Scott and not with them now :D). Certainly the way my body channeling the frustration and emotions in other ways since I never really channel them in the real life.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Week 25 - Yummy mummy

On the left: Scott and I getting ready for the Chairs for Charity dinner at Flemington Racecourse. Was very proud and slightly surprised that I still have good balance for dancing on those high heels and the big belly!

My body:

Over all I am feeling alright. No complaints except those old ones (but I have made peace with them). I have been told by a few people though, that my belly is puffing like self raising flour. You just left the dough to stand for a few minutes, look away and PUFF it raised like magic.

Some people commented that it looked like I am having a big baby. I did feel humongous last week. And a little uncomfortable with the sturdiness and the fact that it is getting hard to bend over. I know it is a bit early but my envy to big bellies that those soon-to-be mummies have, have disappeared. I just want it to be over. At the same time I think my belly has reached it best shape - from now on it's going downhill (bigger and eventually will look like it is going to explode!)

Honestly, it is such a mixed bag - sometimes I look at my belly and wish I could stay pregnant forever. Other times, it feels like a science project (or as I said before, baking dough) gone wrong and expanding out of control and I wonder how I'll survive another three more months.

My baby:
weighs about 1.5 pounds and measures 8.8 inches from crown to rump (or about 13.5 inches from head to heel). He is becoming stronger as its stem cells continue to develop into bone tissue, and its bones become solid through a process called ossification. Slightly worried about him because he seems to be less active than last week though. Hope everything is fine.

I feel like a yummy mummy this week. There were days when I felt FAT but most of the time I feel good and sexy. Had a look around for photography sessions for pregnancy portrait, but they all are rip off. Ripping off the joy of people's life I think, their job descriptions are! (ask Sharon if you don't believe me, she's getting married next year so she's gone through the motions of finding a photographer and I am sure they mark their price up even worse for weddings!)

This week, finally, it was appeal to me to start looking at baby's stuff, such as nursery and little tiny clothings. I even started to look around for baby day care. It is ludicrous, that people need to book ahead even before the baby is even born (for people that actually want to get back to work after a year off they actually need to book even before they find out they are pregnant!). I do have the luxury of not having to go back to work, and
have also realised that my former self has collapsed under the nesting impulse, when I find myself ironing Scott's working shirts. I have also done a lot of washing and cooking and vacuuming (twice within 2 weeks - that's definitely my maternal instinct kicks in)
Anyway, this whole world of parental responsibilities lurking out there - and it is making me a bit nervous. All these thoughts of what might go wrong - what if our son doesn't get a daycare centre on time, what if he ends up in a lame nursery school, where the carers don't care about them and just looking at them while having cigarettes? And what if our son ends up hanging out with the wrong crowd and smoking pots after school - errrrrr.. that might be too far into the future but you get the point!

Am a bit disappointed of myself though. I still haven't started my pregnancy pilates/yoga/exercise that I was planning to do straight away after we move to Melbourne. I had fallen into my comfort zone last week and as a result I felt even more tired and more wasted. There isn't any pilates/yoga places close here that convenient by feet and we're getting tired of waiting for my car to arrive. It's really a lame excuse, I know.. but I just can't be bothered to go if I have to walk or wait for bus half an hour each way.

Finally - U2 concert happened last Sunday. It was fantastic, especially because I hadn't been to any concerts for ages. I am glad I made effort to buy those tickets after I sold the ones for Auckland. Oh and baby didn't seem to mind - he didn't kick as much as I thought he would be but I wonder if that is because he covered his ears and maybe preferred the classical music?)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Week 24 - Finding Forester

My body:
* Undies are getting too small, not sure if my bum is getting bigger or all my undies have shrunk in the dryer or combination of both.
* Braxton hicks? Well, as always, am not very sure if I did experience the hicks.
Braxton Hicks are intermittent contractions of the uterus that some women experience during their pregnancy. They were first described by Dr. John Braxton Hicks in 1872, an English gynecologist, and are often referred to as practice labor because they are thought to help prepare your body for the real deal. Apparently most women notice Braxton hicks contractions in their second half of their pregnancy and in their third trimester in particular. Most of them last between 30 to 60 seconds, often feel like a tightening of the front of your abdomen or pelvis. * Numbness - the blood circulation in the body of course is affected by the pregnancy, and as result I feel numbness on my fingers or feets from time to time. Mostly when I lay down in bed and not moving for a while.
* Just like an old pregnant woman, I started to need Scott's help to move around after getting comfortable or settled for a while in bed or in the lounge. Sometimes he needed to push my back or I need to roll to my side before able to actually standing up or changing my position!

My baby:
Weighs about 1.2 pounds and about 12 inches from head to heel - that is around 30 cm! He's growing for sure!) His lungs have started secreting surfactant, the substance that keeps the moist, interior surface of the lungs from sticking together, and he is practicing breathing. His eyes are also watching for lights and his ears are listenign to the heartbeat and the stomach growl.

While we were on the topics of his hearings, the other day I put an easy listening classical CD on - you know what they say, it is supposed to calm the baby down and stimulate his brain while he is still inside the womb. A few minutes after the music was on, he started to kick. I haven't got any clue whether or not that means he liked the music or hated it (Maybe he prefers top 40 music?)

Also this morning, I was woken up by the sound of a truck blowing his horn. A split second later I felt his movement as if this had startled him as well. He didn't really have a good reflex though, he kicked a bit too long after the horn blew but at least we know he was reacting to sounds!

Pregnancy is a funny thing. It is funny enough having someone (a real person!) growing inside your tummy - and you can't control it. It grows without you have any saying about it. Sharon said last night - it wouldn't sink down in her until she sees me holding the baby in my arm. I almost feel like that too. Sometimes it is real, sometimes it is not.

On Thursday we had a maternity hospital tour at Masada. The lady showed the facilities around. That time it felt real, that I am having a baby - looking at the birthing room made me shiver. When the lady said some women have been in those rooms for a long birth, it dawned to me all the pains and the things that can happen in the labour. Eeeeeeks.....

The other day I was also freaked out by the thought that I AM going to be a mother. And this is it, no turning back! I thought, what if I didn't enjoy being a mother? What if I hated not being free as I was before, or if I wasn't a good mother? So many things that started to sink in as the pregnancy grows. So many worries. And joys at the same time.
I have to say, despite all that, I have been enjoying my pregnancy.

We picked up the new Subaru Forester on friday. How exciting! I got to drive it after dinner at Sharon's on Saturday (pregnant women = designated drivers!) and it was as smooth as. Scott's been like a little boy with his new toy - he went to see the car in the garage before he went to sleep and checking the car out on the way to the shop around the corner (walking!).

Week 23 - Suburbia housewife

My body:
• Oh waist, where are tho? It’s gone! Mum said I looked much bigger than I was when she first arrived. I think I did finally grow pregnant within the past 4 or 5 weeks. Every week I feel big but the next week when I look at my last week’s picture I can see that I was definitely smaller then. Funny how a week can make a difference (on the scale as well!)
• I have been getting more and more tired easily. Only need to walk for half an hour or so to feel my back aching and the need to sit down. The thing is I walked a lot this week with mum here and we didn't have any car. It's good because we definitely need the exercise but bad because I got very very tired at the end of the day (at least mum cooked dinner every night hehe)

My baby:
weighs a little less than one pound, and is about 8 inches from crown to rump (or about 11.5 inches head to heel). He is continuing to develop facial features, has eyes that open and close, ears that can hear, and a thumb well worth sucking.

Scott’s away the whole week! Glad I have mummy as a company until next Sunday.

Things haven’t been as smoothly as we hoped since we moved here. Nothing had been easy, for example my car still hasn’t arrived – we’ve been waiting for the permit to arrive since 3 weeks ago and it only just arrived a few days ago, we still haven’t got any internet connection (I received an automated phone call yesterday saying: “This is an automated call from Exetel. Your ADSL application has been rejected. For more details or reasons why it is rejected, please visit our website bla bla bla…”, trouble with the health insurance correspondence, the list goes on and on and on.

The suburbian public transportation in Melbourne is crap – crappier than Jakarta since you can actually get a bus literally every 3 minutes in Jakarta (and you can halt it anywhere!). Mum and I are of course forced to take the public transportation to move about during her staying here. I got very cranky with the unreliable system and everything. This afternoon the bus was running late for half an hour, my back hurt and two young lads sitting on the bench didn’t even moved for that half hour, even after I said to mum in a loud voice and in English “I can’t take it anymore. I am pregnant and I need to sit down”. I had to sit down on the pavement!

After three days of walking from dusk til down (hiperbolic!) I started to get worried because baby seemed to be quiet. Would he be distressed because I forced it? Don't know - what I know is that he started to be a Haka warrior again when Scott came home after his trip. Maybe he just missed his father!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Week 22 – Home sweet home

My body:
• To sum it all: a little tired, a little hungry and a little uncomfortable. I truly get tired very easily, and my back sore very much when I stand or walk too long. As for a little uncomfortable, I freaked out the other day when I can’t really recognize or feel my body anymore. It’s not the same, not the look, not the sense. I feel like I am living in someone else’s body – a borrowed one. Or maybe mine was borrowed? Hope it will be returned to me after bubba is born.

My baby:
Weighs about 11 ounces, measures about 7.6 inches from head to rump (or just under 11 inches head to heel), and is growing eyelashes and eyebrows.

Everyone but mum left on Monday. Mum is staying another 2 weeks here and another week in Sydney with her friend so I employed her to help me with unpacking at the new house.
Yup, we moved in on Tuesday! A comfortable town house with central heating and air conditioning (what more can a pregnant lady who is due in the middle of summer ask?), dishwasher, and own room for bubsie.

I couldn’t get out of the house for 2 days because I just could not leave the house unfinished. On the third day, I gave in and dumped the remaining stuff in baby’s room (still have plenty of time to unpack them before baby arrives – although I am sure this will fly very quickly and I will get panic shortly!)

Scott and I were busy spending money on the house – went crazy! So much we spent already but I keep my mind on perspective: might as well spend now since we won’t be able to spend once baby arrives.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Week 21 Family affair

My body:
• Finally figured out the pain on my right side of my back, running right down my hip and leg. It is called sciatica, since it affects the sciatic nerve, causing lower back, buttock, and leg pain. It is another of the occupational hazards of expectant mothers.
• Linea nigra (dark line along my tummy) is growing darker – also find freckles around my breasts :D and pigmentation on my skin on certain parts of body.

My baby:
Baby is doing a lot of Haka nowadays now that I have recognised his movements. He gets restless in the evening when I try to get some sleeps, but he's been doing a lot of kicking and punching and kicking and punching! I made Scott put his hand on my bump for nights but he didn’t feel anything. One night we decided to see if we can notice it. And sure enough, a few seconds later something poking out of my tummy for a split second! How exciting!

Weekend with the family
I flew to Sydney on Saturday morning to meet up with mum & dad, my sister and her whole family who are visiting Australia.

It was fun - and at the same time, very tiring to look after 6 people (plus my brother who lives there). Took three times as long to get everyone out of the door or to the door of our destination. As I complaint to my sister about her two young children and how hard it was to organise them, she rolled her eyes at me and said, "you'll see".
Just two days had been enough to make me nervous and realised how hard it would be - I could disagree on some things that she'd done, but of course I might end up doing the same or even worse. I mean, there is not exact science on how to raise kids and from what I can see, it's not exactly a playground where you'd have fun all the time either!

Rianti also filled me in how how to raise dogs - it's her baby at the moment, so we had a funny conversations where we talked about different topics (me on raising kids, and her on dogs) but we carried on as if we were talking about the same thing.You can almost apply what she said about dogs to kids. Dogs are even better in some forms - to start with, they never poo or pee in their own territories, unlike children and their nappies.

I fell in love with my little nephew Joey though. He talks alot now, and smiles all the time (except when he cries and screams like a king), he ran around chasing after pigeons, got very excited in the zoo with all the bears, kangaroos and chimps, and really really liked his public transportation (just a promise of taking him on a bus or train calmed him down!)
Scott said don’t worry I’ll get my own soon.

They were here in Melbourne for 4 nights after their trip to Gold coast. Was so busy taking them around – mainly city (shopping!), little sight seeing to St Kilda, Crown casino, Southbank, Phillips Island (little penguins), and more shopping!

We have started thinking about names – but if you think it’d be easier now we know that it’s a boy (yup, it’s a boy!) you are soo wrong!! Boy’s names are not as easy as girl’s names, most of them are boring or too common, and we never agree on anything.
It reminds me of an episode in Friends where Ross and Rachel could veto other’s suggestion five times and they veto-ed everything that the other suggested that Phoebe said, “Is it just me or Veto started sound like a good name?”
It has actually been going on like a ping pong ball lately when we talked about baby names. He could pop out a name in the middle of the night or when we were watching TV, and I would say “no” and vice versa. Sharon has also been trying to contribute on some suggestions, some are good, but some are hilarious – Ashley is a good name, but not Ashley Bradley or Lee Bradley.
Mum also blurts out some hilarious names since I told her I want an Indonesian name for his middle name – “Baskoro”, “Bambang” (after our president!) and all other old men’s names. I said might as well name him Gatotkaca or Gajahmada if that’s the case!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Week 20 - Let the game begun

My body:
* We are half way done! Wow! Although from now on tummy will only get bigger and even bigger every day. At these stage (second and third trimester), all the important organs have been developed and baby is mainly growing in size. Which explains a lot why I grew so fast within these past 4 weeks. I started to look pregnant - which I love - except when I feel like I haven't got anything to wear (anymore).
* Heartburn, indigestion, flatulence and bloating come and go as they are pleased. I got hiccups easily after big meal. The growing baby is causing my internal organs to press against my lungs but I have not felt out or short of breath yet.
* Can't get too far from the loo. I need to go approximately every half hour - baby must be pushing my bladder. No matter how much I drink I still have to keep going.
* Backaches - my main complaint nowadays. Apparently the backache is caused by the usually stable joints of the pelvis begin to loosen up to allow easier pasage for the baby at delivery. This, along with the the oversized abdomen, throws the body off balance and to compensate, we tend to bring our shoulders back and arch our neck. It deeply curves lower back, strains back muscles and causes pain.

My baby:
is now about 5.6 to 6.4 inches crown to rump (about 10 inches head to heel) and weighs approximately 9 ounces. He/she is now practicing breathing and swallowing on a regular basis.
His skin is becoming more complex at the end of pregnancy week 20, forming different layers. The epidermis, or surface of his skin now has four layers that contain ridges for fingertips. The layers that form in his palms and feet will provide him with his own unique fingerprint later in life.

About a boy - or a girl?
Tuesday morning we went to get our second ultrasound. This is normally done around the twentieth week and are used to determine the size and position of the fetus, checking anatomy and thorougly examination on the baby. They can uncover any structural abnormalities of bones and organs that are visible by this time.

The most beautiful amazing creature is living in my tummy. It kept moving its hands and feet, but stubbornly not moving its position to make it easier for the sonographer to see the internal organs. All the time its back was against my tummy so the spines was on the way. (Stubborness took after its mummy, possibly).Took awhile to check every organs, but my little one is fine and healthy.

The sonograph asked if we wanted to find out the sex of the baby and we said, "Yes definitely" and the second she said that, I knew what we are going to have.

It is the most amazing experience - even though it was a fifty fifty chance, but when we found out, it's undescribable feeling rushing through my heart (and brain). It was like playing Russian roulette, you know it'd be either red or black but you still wouldn't know which one you'd place the bet on.
It is not a secret but some people prefers not to know our baby's sex - Janelle refused to know while some other (won't name names) probably think the sonographer might as well was wrong, because their guess was wrong.

Now we know the sex of baby, it just became more real. So many things that needed to be think about from now on, the name of the baby to start with. We started throwing names to each other, just to cringe to the other's ideas. Long way to go before we really have to name the baby but I don't think this will be an easy objective to achieve between Scott and I.

Friday 20th October, 2pm.

The second wow of the week: I think bubsie just kicked me!!! Very soft movement in my tummy, it felt more like he had a tiny hiccups in my tummy or maybe a very soft pinch more than anything.
Am sure there will be more coming from now on!

First appointment with the Obstetrician this afternoon. Went very fast (and cost a lot too!). He is not particularly nice or nasty, just very efficient and straight to the point. At least we know he's good, he delivered one of the GP's children (who referred us to him), so we really couldn't get better reference.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

week 19 - Pregnant belly

My body:
* my pregnant belly is really showing. I grow rapidly - faster than a baby hamster. Scott went to Sydney for 3 days and when he came back he reckoned I was bigger than last time he saw me.
* Exercise - or just walk for half hour everyday really makes a difference to my posture. If I didn't do it, my back starts to ache and feels very uncomfortable.
* Strectching of the ligaments and little twitches in my tummy carrying on - suspicious that some of the movements were probably baby's but too insensitive to recognise :P.

My baby:
weighs approximately 7 ounces and is about 5.2 to 6 inches from crown to rump. The exterior layers of skin tissue are developing to form her one-of-a-kind fingerprints. The amniotic fluid that surrounds her allows for the free movement of the arms and legs and is also sometimes swallowed to practice digestion.
Her hearing is developing, and she'll be getting used to the sound of your voice. She will also feel your touch when you massage your abdomen. Little peanut now sleeps and wakes at regular intervals and has started to exercise her lungs and practice her breathing techniques.Tiny teeth are also forming in her gums.

She will begin to recognise my voice and may respond to loud noises or music by making jerky movements possibly showing that whatever she is hearing is too loud and frightening.

Sharon took me to see the wedding band viewing. They were playing in the little studio, and the music was blasting from the big speakers around us. I told Sharon my poor bubsie might be frightened and Sharon said it might be triggering her to kick for the first time. Couldn't feel anything :D - maybe she'll grow up to be a rockstar.

The hospital that we have chosen is called Masada - it is not our first priority but the other one was booked out for March delivery. Eeeks...Australia is really short of hospitals and maternity wards and as a consequence if you gave birth in a public hospital they might put you in a room with 5 other mothers (and their babies!). We drove through the hospital in the weekend and it look like a small nice private hospital, so quite happy with it.

So hot today I was like a dog with my tongue hanging from my mouth. Is it just because I am pregnant that it made me more exhausted, I don't really know. Good timing, Linda. By the time summer is here, I will be big and fat, and roasting!!!!
*It will still be a good reason to be roasting though!*

We are still living off the suitcase, except most of my outfits has been outgrown. Hopefully we get our airfreight boxes in a few days (although I doubt that there will be anything that still fits me!).
We spent the weekend looking for houses to rent again, and also looking for a car. We stll haven't had any luck yet - hopefully next weekend.
Mum & Dad and my sister's family are coming over the week after next and stay here for 4 days so the apartment is going to be (more than) a full house!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Week 18 – Sleepless in Melbourne

My body:
• The waist keeps expanding but I guess there is no going back from now. As Warren puts it: “Guess what, it is only going to get bigger!” I am looking forward to the day when I will look well and truly pregnant as opposed to a person who has problem with her belly I am now.
• I started to feel tired easily. Very easily. Fortunately my daily schedule is no longer busy anymore – am getting used to easy and relaxing life in Melbourne.
• I must be a freak – I have been having weird and bizarre dreams almost everynight. Once I was a spy, the other time I happened to be at a murder scene, and yesterday I was eating snake meat (and hated it) – I have been looking forward about what I would dream about every night though. Fortunately I haven’t dreamt about eating my baby (which some people did, apparently)

My baby:
is twice as big as he was last month, but he still weighs only about 225 grams. Although things may seem calm on the surface, he is kicking, flexing, reaching, rolling, and even sucking his thumb now. His hearing is now functioning and he will be listening to my heartbeat (How amazing!)

New life again!
It just dawned to me when we arrived at the airport that we are not just here for holiday, we are here to stay!
We are staying in the city for a while until we find a permanent place to stay. It’s a gorgeous 2 bedroom apartment, very spacious and very nice and it’s right in the middle of the city. We rented this two bedroom apartment because my sister said she was going to come with mum and dad but up until now – two weeks before the scheduled trip, nothing had been finalized. Typical. (The apartment is so beautiful that I almost wanted all six of them to come just to show off! The only thing we hated is the agent but it’s a long story.)

Sharon kept me busy with the wedding planning. I went with her to choose her wedding dress, finding the right invitation, etc etc. So exciting that I want to get married again (with my hubby of course!)

On Friday we went to see a GP who was recommended by Sharon and Warren. He patiently explained about the maternity system in Australia and referred us to the ultrasound place for our anatomy scan. Ade had warned me about waiting list in public health service but even with the private one, we had to wait until early November to get appointment! After a few phone calls, I managed to get ourselves a spot for the week after next. Doctor also said we need to decide which hospital we want to go to – and we have to do it quick since it’s already week 19 and people usually went to the obgyn the first time when they were between 8-9 weeks. The problem is of course, we don’t know yet where we want to live let alone choosing the hospital. Also, this hospital will need to be covered by our private insurance and we haven’t made up our mind on which insurance to join. I couldn’t really do research at home because the bloody real estate agent who was supposed to organized our internet connection here (should have been done last week) doesn’t have enough work ethic even to return our calls, and Scott has been so busy at work to do it. It is quite frustrating.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Week 17 - Haera ra Aoteroa!

My body:
•There is thin line across my tummy from up to top now! They call it linea nigrea, though who knows why it’s there. The only thing they explained about it is, again, this is because of the changes of hormones in my body.
•I had severe headaches at the beginning of the week for a few days. This might relate to something that I eat but also the temperature had been hot so there was a chance that I was dehydrated.

My baby:
is approximately 4.8 inches long and weighs about 3.5 ounces, and he or she should weigh more than the placenta from this point on. Since your baby's hearing has become more finely tuned, he or she may respond to loud noises and supposedly I can feel movement at the sound of large trucks passing or a slamming door (of course I haven't - maybe it's just me that is insensitive). Epidermal (skin) and fatty tissue are developing all over the baby's body to protect it after it is born and a substance called vernix is beginning to form on the skin tissue to protect it from the long exposure to amniotic fluid.

This is it. Our last week in New Zealand. It finally sank it that we are moving OUT of this country, might never come back (but hopefully we will!) and all the goodbyes to friends and places that we have become familiar with.

My last day of working! For another 2 years!!! WOOO HOOOOOOO. Scott said if that wouldn't make me happy then he wouldn't know how to make me happy - I said I am worried about having to justify buying another pair of shoes for my self for another 2 years.
(Might try to see if I can get a contracting job in Melbourne before baby pops out but doubt it as I will start be showing.)
Had a terrible headache in the evening. It might be because of the chocolate brownie that I ate in the afternoon.
Went to pick up the car at the mechanic – it cost a fortune! I was pretty upset because with that amount of money, we really should have sold the car and get a newer one in Melbourne. But at this stage we couldn’t do anything but go ahead with the plan and ship the car with the rest of the furniture (which initially shouldn’t cost us anything since the company is paying for the shipment and the tax)

I was into the (spring) cleaning and de cluttering all morning – done a big job sorting out books and little tidbits that we want to throw away. The problem was that we didn’t really know where to throw away 3 boxes of old text books (not that we feel right to throw away books as well). I rang secondhand bookshops but none of them do textbooks so Scott decided to throw them away at the waste paper bin at his work.

Farewell dinner at Non Solo Pizza in Parnell with Scott’s work. They gave Scott a kiwi with All Black costume photo holder to be put at his desk. The story behind it was that Scott had always lost betting Australia to the All Black during the rugby season and always ended up buying bottles of wine for the other who backed All Black. They said if Scott put that All Black photo holder on his desk in Melbourne people will think that he’s backing All Black and can get all the wine back from them.
As for me, I got a little cute teddy bear with All Black costume for my little peanut so he will know that he has a bit of Kiwi in his blood.

I still had the biggest headache ever that I rang the midwife. She said chances are everything is ok –have a lot of water and if it still didn’t fix it, see a GP.

The weather has been gorgeous (sunny and not a cloud in the sky). Isn’t that typical, just when we are about to leave, rain finally stopped and was replaced with warm weather - spring has finally sprung!

I was going to get the car washed through the drive-through carwash but it was closed so I had to wash it myself – big mistake. I shouldn’t have been allowed to wash my car! What a waste of money – I spent so much coins to make sure that I did proper job, but once I got home I could see all the patches on the car that I missed cleaning.
Scott said it definitely needed to be cleaned again because it needed to be spotless for the immigration! Grrrrh… Waste of time and my energy.


Removalist arrived today – lovely hubby happened to forget to tell me about this change of plan! (They were going to come tomorrow). All went well though all they left us were the bed and the set of drawers – packed the rest of the things. They left the table where they put our laptop but then packed the chair!!
This poor pregnant woman had to sit on the floor for the rest of the night not able to do anything else but browsing internet! We couldn’t even watch TV since they packed both of them. Had to go out for dinner at Mission Bay – for the last time, sniff sniff. We chose the Italian restaurant that we had never been, and it was terrible. Food was not very nice and incredibly expensive.

During the day Scott came and picked me up so we can drive my car off at the Depot. The trip took forever since it was on the other side of the city, and the customer service made us fill in the immigration form at the last minute (Scott was getting nervous at that time since he’s been away from work more than 1.5 hours). To make things worse, we also had to return the number plate to the testing station and get de-register, but they couldn’t take off the plates from the car! We decided to go back there tomorrow morning to pick them up.


Moving day! We were up by 8am but the removalist didn’t come until before 10am. We both got a bid edgy because we needed to drive all the way to the Depot to pick up the number plates and get registered. Fortunately it all worked out fine and when we got home they had almost finished with the moving. We still had to wait for the cleaners to come in though to clean the house thoroughly, and to say goodbye. Thought the job is over? Well, not really. The real estate agent said that we need to see her to sign on the bond release form this afternoon. All this never-ending little jobs that they only tell you at the last minute!

It was really hard packing clothes for the first 4 weeks in Melbourne when you pregnant, as you don’t know how big you are going to end up in a few weeks.

Anyhow, we went to see Birgit, Stefan and little Daniel before taking off to say our goodbyes (hate goodbyes!).

Checked in at Heritage hotel. This was the hotel that we stayed at the first time we went to Auckland almost 2 years ago. Very posh and expensive house but our room was crap! Maybe all are just signs that we really need to get out of this country! :P

Our last night was spent at Bombay Hill, for Phil’s 40th birthday party. Good weather, good companies, big bon fire, we even had hangi (traditional Maori feast) for dinner making it a nice way to spend the last night. Everyone had promised to come so it’s not like goodbye.

We’ll miss this place – and promised ourselves that we will be back here with the little one!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Week 16 - Bad Week!

My body:
* I hate it! I hate it!! I put on weight faster than a rocket - around 1/2 kg per week. Don't know how it happens but it does. What makes things worse it that I haven't really watch what we're eating as well - one night it's pizza, the other day it's hamburger - it's just the things I craved for, plus I still couldn't be bother to cook. Also because this is our second last week we are busy having farewell dinners and getting free meals - do you think I slow down on that?
* Sore back - every morning when I get up, it felt like I have been sleeping on nails.
* I also have been getting this twicthing feelings down my tummy - It might be the that the uterus is strecthing out preparing for the baby growth but apparently at this age it might be the baby kicking and about!
All and all I feel unattractive the whole week!

My baby:
is about the size of an avocado now but in the next three weeks, he'll go through a tremendous growth spurt — doubling his weight and increasing his length. In the meantime, he'll be playing with his umbilical cord and practising breathing by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid through his lungs.

On Monday, we went to the second visit to the midwife - we told her that we were moving to Melbourne in two weeks so she didn't actually perform the test which initially to be done today and said it could be done later!
Aaargh.. Why why it can never be right with these people?

Enough winging. Can't really be complaining because everything is fine, apparently.

My little peanut is a big baby apparently - according to the midwife. When she touched my tummy, she said "Wow. The Baby is really growing fast!"
Me: "Oh really? Wow that's a relief. I have been thinking it's just my tummy since I have a very healthy appetite now"
Her: "No, you can feel the size of your womb and it's quite big."
Scott (jumped into the conversation): "Well, I guess we're having a big Australian baby - not a tiny Indonesian one"

(PS. Told mum about it and she said hope baby wouldn't be too white/bule or people will start thinking that I am just the Philipino nanny. PPS. Scott argued that western people don't think like that but they might think that I am a philipino bride by mail!!!!!)

Then we heard the baby heartbeats again.
Her: "Are you going to find out the sex?"
Me: "Yes. Definitely."
Her: "There is an old wives tale which predicts the sex of the baby from the signs. And this is quite a fast heartbeat so it might be a BOY"
(Scott grinned very wide at this point)
Scott: "I've got a psychic aunty who said this is going to be a boy"

Scott aunty, Kerry, a self-proclaimed pshychic woman apparently said to one of her colleagues that he was expecting a baby which was due in March and it's going to be a boy. And this man was obviously a bit confused about what she was talking about (not sure if he was expecting any baby) but anyway, this was before Kerry found out about us. When she did, she figured that her premonition was all about us after all.

Although talking about psychic, Rianti and James reckon it's going to be a girl - but can't give any reasons why they think of that (maybe they are two of a kind? :P). I don't think they are particularly psychic and honestly, it's not a hard guess isn't, it's either a her or a him!

Scott is convinced that I shouldn't take any drug during the labour because anything given to me can be passed to the baby through the placenta. Baby gets weary until the drug is worn out, and also the mother doesn't recover as quick because of the drug effect (drowsy and weary). Eeks.. I said I'd think about it. At the moment my ground is we'll try but I am not ruling out drugs - if I need it then I NEED it!

Bad week!

I am not having a good week. Wednesday morning was such a bad morning. Started with having to go back to the house twice to get water for my radiator, and then realising I forgot the laptop (I guess it's good that I remember before I hit the road but it;s still annoying) and then I 'bumped' into other car when I parked the car and this Witch who was there screamed at me "What are you doing? You hit my car.."
bla bla bla. It was such an innocent bump, but it is my fault! I shouldn't be allowed to drive while pregnant - very very careless. This is quite normal though, pregnant women are known to loose their sense of judgmental and also sometimes get brain fog and becoming absentminded.

Also, I've been meaning to get my tooth fixed but I got so lazy and ended up not having able to do it because of the pregnancy. Then the filling just fell off! I went to the dentist but they only gave me temporary filling because they need an xray to give me a crown - which they couldn't do because I am pregnant. This means I will need to fork out my own money for crowing in Melbourne instead of covered by our expatriate insurance here.
Lesson to learn: Never procrastinate.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Week 15 - I am ballooning!

My body:
* I think my body is adjusting alright now. I still get sick from time to time but not all the time, thank God for that. I have been feeling so much better - I actually could (and do) change TV channel when it starts showing Home and Away! My couch is no longer my sanctuary, but I still looove our bed (I have always had this infactuation with bed so this is not due to the pregnancy but just because I love my beauty sleep!). And because now I am pregnant, Hubby lets me sleeps in as long as I like - am like a Queen!
* As you can see from the pictures, my waistline has been expanding from sometimes now. I am not very sure whether this is classified as bubbie bump already or if it is my fat storage (more likely!)as baby is only about 1.75 ounces (see below: my baby)
Rrr.. my jeans that were okay last week (in fact they were one size too big in my other life) are now suddenly too tight.

My baby:
weighs about 1.75 ounces and is about 4 to 4.5 inches in length. His or her heart is growing strong and, even though it is little, it is pumping between 20 and 25 quarts of blood every 24 hours. By the time for delivery, baby's heart will be circulating up to 300 quarts of blood every 24 hours. Many fetuses develop their future hairline pattern this week, although it can take quite a bit longer for some babies' hairline or hair to fully develop.

As the result of trying to make the best of our last 3 weeks here, we decided to drive to Raglan yesterday. It's the famous surfing beach where the international surfing competition is held annually.
It took 3 hours to get there because we did a bit of sight-seeing detour and refused to use the motorway. Got there hours later, it was windy & cold, and I had already been fainting with hunger and had a very severe headache. What a way just to get fish and chips.

The other day I was adamant to use my favourite pants, only to find myself fainting and regretting it the whole day (although I felt better after I undid the buttons) . Well I was going to say goodbye to prematernity clothings and so long tight jeans, short skirts, and body hugging tops already, but then Scott said I should buy the belly belts. So today, I went to the Baby Factory and got myself that, which to be put around your waist to expand your pants/skirts waistline. What a clever invention! And saving me from wearing those maternity clothes for another month or so at least (but they are not cheap.. oooh noo.. baby is expensive!)

Another example of social life downhill for me: Had a hen's party on Saturday (Mia's getting married in Fiji in 3 weeks time), started with lunch (no alcohol for me!) and then went to the local stripbar (closed for us, it's too early anyway to be open) to learn how to pole dance. I was really looking forward for this, until about 2 weeks ago it dawned to me I might not be able to do it. Surely enough, it is 'not recommended for pregnant women'. Damn! Even looking at them was so much fun - although it looked ridiculously difficult that even I can see what a big exercise it is for the tummy muscle. Anyway, they continued on to the bridesmaid place, have drinks and nibbles and strip dancing. Thinking that it would be boring for me (without any alcohol) I went home and stayed home - alone, while hubby and his bestfriend from Australia were out and about the city. Help I am turning into a boring pregnant wife that I promised myself I wouldn't turn into when I got pregnant!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Week 14 - Second trimester

My body:
* Well, morning sickness was almost almost gone - except for two days in the middle of the week where I was sick all day!
* I am not so tired anymore this week and surprise surprise I didn't belch as much as the previous weeks.
* On the other side, my appetite has grown so much. I have been eating like a MONSTER. This might be because I finally enjoy what I am eating. The other night we had Indian! I thought I had gone off the taste of the spices and cream in the curry but I enjoyed it so much.
* Severe headaches - I have been getting very bad headaches lately. Apparently this is normal. Pregnancy headaches are most commonly the result of hormonal changes, fatigue, tension, hunger or physical and emotional stress.

My baby:
weighs almost one ounce, and is 3 to 4 inches in length. Your baby's bladder is beginning to function and, believe it or not, your baby actually begins urinating. In fact, although doctors are not really sure how or where your baby's urine is produced, they do know it is one component of the amniotic fluid, which regenerates itself every 3 to 4 hours.

My beloved friend Gita sent me this txt this morning (she just had a baby a month ago): People said "congrats, ur life'll never b d same again", n it's so7x trus. So linda, move ur bump, do whatever u wanna do NOW, forget the sickness, its only in ur mind!

At the moment the surge of panic attack is overwhelming me. So many things that I wanted to do, and still haven't done them. Which is why I was so annoyed when I missed the auction for U2 tickets in Melbourne on Trademe (NZ Auction website) because we slept in! Aaargh. Thing is, we were going to see them here but because the show is in November, I had to sell the tickets. I sold them for quite a good price actually and I was hoping I can get these particular ones with seats - just in case, you see.. I'll be 5 1/2 months pregnant when the concert will be on.


Lani stayed with me for 3 nights while Scott was away for work to Melbourne. On the last night Jacs came along for dinner - Birgit meant to come as well but cancelled it at the last minute saying she wasn't feeling well. Sure enough, the next day she gave a birth to Daniel Thomas!
We went to see them and the baby on Saturday on the way to dinne with Scott's supplier. Such a tiny little thing! I had this nervous feeling when I held him in my arms (I mean, he was only 2 days old, very helpless and as Scott put it, two days ago he was still in his mother's womb and everything is all brand new to him and he wouldn't know what's going on!). Scott was more natural about it. He's got this good fatherly instinct that I am soo proud of - I think he's ready to look after baby and be a good father!

I've sent email to people at work this week telling them that we are leaving to Melbourne and that we're expecting a baby. This came from Megan - and I think it's really true!!
You took that leap of faith when you upped and left and sometimes if our gut
keeps telling us something isn't right, or things just won't seem to work
out no matter how hard we try, it can turn out to be a blessing in disguise
if we follow that instinct and let life just take it's course. Which is what
you did and look how well it worked out!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

First day of Spring

It is the first of september - the first day of Spring.

And the weather is just like what it is - Spring. Beautiful sun, blue sky, warm weather. It feels like the season takes sudden turn.

It's also the new hope for me. I woke up and my sickness was gone - puff. Out the window - gone with the winter wind! Exactly 13 weeks of my pregnancy, no more no less. I can breathe normally without worrying about the smell, I can move so freely without the motion sickness pain, and the tiredness is all gone! No more slumping in the couch anymore!

I might enjoy the rest of pregnancy from now own (unless if my neurotism gets the better of me *grin*). I AM A NEW WOMAN!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Week 13 - Thumb up!

My body:
* Whoever said I'd feel better after 12 weeks, come forward please so I can beat you up! My evening sickness is still pretty much happening every day. Most of the afternoon I would slump down on the couch by 5pm, can't even move to greet my husband who comes home from work. I have started watching Home and Away (eeeks.. well I try not to watch it but most of the time I would be too sick even to change the channel that I just watch it anyway. Although don't worry, I am still not following the plots and don't know what's going on. Didn't even know a character from the show :P).
We would have dinner (as early as 7pm) and I would slump back to the couch after that until it's time to go to bed (although most of the time I fall asleep on the couch anyway).
* Some predicts it's going to be a boy. This is due to the fact that I have made the sofa as my sanctuary and sink there most of the time without any desire to do anything. Dishes and laundry accumulate before my eyes. I am even too lazy to dress up. Apparently baby boy makes you lazy (can't see any correlations but as long as I can blame my laziness to something else, I am happy.)
* This just came to my attention - I belch like a man/pig now. I am not denying that I belch and burp in my previous life (as unpregnant woman) but it looks like I can't really control it anymore. It doesn't matter though, with so much gas in my tummy, every burp is like sent from heaven.

You live, you learn. My lesson for this week is that a)I am not very good in delivering good news and b) it is not easy to keep your social life when you're pregnant in your first trimester.

I have gone about telling people about my pregnancy. I had been planning to tell some friends here about my pregnancy, but I told them "we should catch up because I have some news" so when we told them about the news, they have already suspected it.

This was held during a course of a meal, which during that time I was constantly feeling sick and just wanting to go home and lay down (but could't do that either when we got home because one of them was staying with us that night)

I also told some people from old work that we are expecting, and that we should catch up before we're moving to Australia when in realities it might never happened. Blame it to the pregnancy, it's a social-life downhill for us mothers to be.

Wednesday 30 August,

Our first ultrasound scan. We went for the Nuchal Translucency test today, where they checked the thickness of baby's neck in corelation with my age and the size of the baby to see what is the risk of chromosome abnormality, in particular Down syndrome. It is an elective test, but we wanted to make sure everything is okay so we decided to go along. Plus, we got to see the baby way earlier than we would normally have (which is around week 16-18).

The baby is soo small - he's 7cm long which made it 13 weeks and 1 day according to their calculation.
The result was fine - the thickness was way under what the concern would be.

But holy cow, it's amazing to see this little thing moving around in my tummy. He's soo beautiful! He moved around so fast and so active (although I can't really feel it since it's still too early and he's still too small), one second his legs were kicking and the other second he wiggled his thumbs as if saying, 'dont worry mum, here I am, everything is fine!' We could see his eyes and his face although it wasn't really clear and I don't think it has shapened completely yet.
The heartbeats were captures as blinking motions on the monitor.

When we got home I told Scott that maybe it wasn't the baby thumb that we saw (since it was too early to tell the sex) and Scott said, "do you think Bob (he doesn't want to call the baby Steve anymore, incase we grow accustomised with the name) was wiggling his p***s in his hands?"

(unfortunately the pics are being sent to the midwife so I can't show them here until my next appointment with the lady)

"We are not a couple anymore. We are now a triple," my husband said when we were home.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Week 12 - The sweetest sound

My body:
* I am constantly thirsty. I think this is my body telling me I need to keep hydrated. I didn't really drink enough water up until last week but now I have to have my water by my side.
* My weight has gone up a little (under different circumstances I would have been panic) and my waist definitely growing (maybe because my weight has gone up?)
* Woo hoo.. Boobsie are not sore anymore. Although they won't stop growing until about 6 months into pregnancy.
* The metallic taste in my mouth is gone, but I still feel nauseaus from time to time.
* More tired this week - This weekend I got up at 10am, had a nap at 3 and was ready for bed at 9pm.

My Baby
Weighs about 14 grams and is about 2-1/2 inches in length. Her reflexes are functioning, and the digestive tract is active and secreting bile - all to prepare your baby for life outside of your body. Stem cells, the "mother cells" that will become heart, brain, liver, bone, blood, nerve, and immune cells, continue to differentiate to form baby's major organs. Although baby's brain continues to grow, the components now have the same structure they will have at birth. If your OB or midwife uses a fetal Doppler, you may be able to listen to your baby's heartbeat many moms-to-be are amazed by how fast it is. This may be the sweetest sound you have ever heard.

It was indeed the sweetest sound!
The midwife put the doppler scan on my tummy and suddenly there it is!! My baby's heartbeat. Throbbing through out the speaker. Very clear.
It was a very very emotional moment. I didn't even realise that I had tear coming out of my eyes.
Her heartbeat was very strong, twice as fast as regular one. The midwife said it's because she's only small she works hard and it takes a lot to pump the blood into the system.

It suddenly became real. Everything, that I am going to be a mother, that we are going to be parents. Scott said it just made his life listening to her heartbeat.

I had my concerns about the alcohol that I consumed before I found out I was pregnant, unfortunately the midwife wasn't really assuring. She said so many factors depend on it and she said she could not say if it's okay but everyone drinks before they know they are pregnant. But then she also said, they said if something is to happen, it happens on day 21. Which was exactly when I was drinking.
I am super duper paranoid. I am aware there's nothing that we can do - fingers crossed and hope for the best but I'll be worrying about it the whole pregnancy!

It's just it's so true what people said about wanting the best for your kids, but I never realised that it would start from even before she is born.

I've been soo lucky and so blessed, we've been happy, we've got everything we wanted. We are very very lucky. But I couldn't keep questioning in my mind, does this mean something bad is bound to happen?
I think it's time to stop worrying and start being grateful of all the good things that happened to us :D


Rianti just adopted a pup and called her Zoe!!
Hi hi hi.. So much for persuading Scott to call our daughter Zoe. Definitely dog's name.
That's it!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Week 11 - Exotic baby

My body:
* Early this week I thought I finally got rid of my morning sickness - but I lied. It came back in Wednesday or so. I spent the weekend laying in the couch not able to move an inch.
* I feel more tired than usual, but it's probably because I am working
* Craving for exotic fruits: pineapple, manggo, etc (maybe the baby will be exotic). I am still very picky with what I eat and definitely can't cook yet. Been eating very plain and bland food like porridge and the like this whole week, athough my appetite is a bit better -I might have already put on some weight!

My baby:
is now fully formed — measuring 1 1/2 inches long and weighing in at a quarter of an ounce. His skin is still transparent, allowing many of his blood vessels to show through. Some of his bones are beginning to harden, and tiny toothbuds are starting to appear under his gums. His fingers and toes have separated, and he may soon be able to open and close his fists. He's already busy kicking and stretching, and his tiny movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will increase as his body grows and becomes more developed and functional. As his diaphragm develops, my tiny tenant may also start to get the hiccups. Because he's still so small, though, you won't feel any of his workouts or intrauterine gulps until sometime between weeks 16 and 20.

I am working for two weeks. Dragging my sorry ass every morning in the cold winter weather, no parking available so usually have to walk ten to fifteen minutes walk to the office from where I usually park - one way! The only good thing about it is that I am forced to take my 30 minutes exercise everyday.

Of course it is because I am lazy. It's an okay job - being an account executive for another ad agency, which is not as boring as my other temp job and it pays a lot better.

I am working from this girl's email - her name is Zoe. I always like that name, sometimes I wish my name was Zoe and when I was travelling in Europe a few years ago I sometimes told people that my name was Zoe. When I sent email to Scott he said, 'I always like Zoe's name, why does it have to be the name of my exes boss dog?'. Scott used to work at this cafe for this very nervous and agitated man who owns a dog called Zoe. He said he will always associate that name with the dog. Bummer! We've got a nice name for a girl but now Scott is changing his mind because it belongs to a famous Hollywood actress and he doesn't want to be told that we're trend affected.

I see pregnant people...
I see pregnant people. Walking around as if they don't know they are pregnant. Well mm.. not really. But I've seen soo many birth scene on tv for the past week, and everytime I saw it I nearly winced. Then Gita told me detailed descriptions on how it feels in the labour! Damn you Gita, now I have to sleep with it.

Another show that I have taken interest in watching is.. Supernanny. It is a show about a nanny who comes to the rescue for the families who could not handle their kids. The show had been putting me off (because most of the children are super trouble - or maybe I should say it's their parents who don't know how to handle it)but now I have to watch it and see if I can learn from it.
I know it's still a long way away but the more you watch, the more you will learn, am I right?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Week 10 - Guessing game

My body:
* I still can't smell things and I have forgotten how it feels not to feel sick - can't wait for this to be over. Apparently they said it will go PUFF - just like that - on the 12th week. But so far the following things that I can't stand include: olive oil, raw vegetable & raw meat (no supermarket!), my husband's smell (poor thing!!), curry, meat, the fridge, our home (!!) but not limited to that. Morning sickness is more to evening thing for me - been going to bed at around 9pm because lying down helps me with that motion sickness feeling.
* I crave for fruits, looking at fruits section in the supermarket makes my mouth watering - and I have never eaten so much fruits in my life before!
* Incredibly sexy boobsies - and they are still growing. Errrr.. look only not touch, they are as sore as being constantly pricked by needles all over them.
* My jeans got suddenly very tight around the waist. Although my weight hasn't gone up yet and the book said it's most likely gas & constipation that reside in there, not the baby yet.

My Baby:
Baby is somewhere between 1 and 1-1/2 inches in length and probably weighs about 4 grams (or as much as 4 paper clips). He or she has lips, toes, eyes that are usually open, ears that are completely formed, and the genitals are becoming more clearly defined. The little pollywog has lost its "tail" and this week marks the end of the embryonic stage and the beginning of the fetal stage!

This week I got paranoid about the long hot shower that I have been taking - it's bloody winter here, how am I supposed to go through without long hot showers? I knew you're not allowed to take hot bath/pool/sauna/spa and the likes because increasing your body temperatur to more than 38.9 degree and keep it there for a while may harm your baby. I am always under impression that hot shower wouldn't cause that, but suddenly I got this panic attack and spent houuurs google-ing trying to find out right information - which is of course, in the era of global and free information, you can never know which one is the correct one. Will have to ask my midwife next week.
I am still worried about other things, think I will only stop worried after we hear the first heartbeat and when I am sure baby is fine.
Poor midwife, bet she didn't know what kind of neurotic mum to be that she's getting!!

I told my agent about us moving to Melbourne in October and she was fine about it. In fact she put me through for an interview this morning for a contracting job - I was supposed to pretend that it is still a possibility that we are moving in October, but I forgot! I told them that we are definitely moving in October so they might not want me because i can only offer about 2 months contract.

The next day I got a call from her saying that they want me for initially 2 weeks - yay! But as I started my first day I realised that I have gotten very comfortable and lazy after my long 8 weeks of doing nothing, I just wanted to stay home and put my feet up. (So chances are they will keep me only for 2 weeks *grin*)

Friends are speculating on the sex of my baby already. Irene & Arti said it's a boy because I don't really get that sick (apparently having baby girl caused high hormone fluctuation, so the fact that I am not so sick means it's a boy), and because I got lazy (honestly - this can't really be justified because I think I am lazy by nature). Rianti bet it is a girl - without any strong argument about it.

It has started to sink in though - we are going to have baby! Life is not going to be the same again. There will be three of us instead of two of us, no more sleeping in, no more take it easy. Everything needs to be planned now, because there is another human being that we will need to look after and think about.

I can't wait!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Week 9 - Breaking the news to friends

Did I really complain the other day that I didn't feel pregnant enough?

Well, that was a lie!!! I have almost had enough of all the symptoms.

This is a little insight on how you feel when you're pregnant: Everything smells horrible.

When everything smells, you can't really eat but you know if you don't eat then you'll feel sick. Very sick. Then you start eating every hour even though you don't want to and you are not very sure if that actually helps you in anything - except putting on weight.

Another thing is.. I can't stand my husband. Suddenly he is using wrong soap, wearing wrong perfume. He just doesn't smell right (had to go to supermarket and get him a new soap bar)

Wednesday was my birthday and I thought it would be a good time to break the news to my closest friends. Course, no one is actually live in the same city as me so I had to break the news via email! Their responses were all different but it took them by surprise. Rianti forgot to tell me happy birthday (overshadowed by unborn baby already!!) and Sharon still couldn't get over it. When last time I saw them 2 months ago, I had technically been pregnant even though we didn't know that (I had my suspicions though).

The week is getting even crazier. I had one good interview and I think I am very close to getting a job. They want me to come back for second interview - which mainly is going to see how my presentation is, since the client is in Australia and these people think I have a bit of accent which worries them (Dooh!!).

But then Scott told me he got a job promotion and we'll be moving to Melbourne in October!!

Eveything definitely falls into places. I started to feel that everything is meant to be - from me quiting the job before the holiday, then came home finding the place burglared (that made us think that we're almost ready to go home), then finding out we're pregnant (and we always want to have baby in Australia) then he got this job!!! It's all too exciting!

Bloody hell, the only thing I am not looking forward is telling my agent that I will need to pull out from the job market. She's been very active in finding me interviews, and I turned her down once last year and she wasn't happy. I am sure she wouldn't be very happy either now that I am very close in finding something. Aargh, not to mention that she must be the most vicious lady in the recruitment industry.

Week 8 - Sweet cravings

I am a cookie monster. Can't stop eating sweets - am hunting every chocolate in the house... I had to eat some of Rianti's personalised M&M's from her wedding because we didn't have any chocolate at home the other day (with her permission. She actually was wondering why I hadn't eaten them, and I told her I couldn't possibly eat something with her name on it.)

I am sure I have a baby bump - Scott said it's impossible, I think he might be right too given my eating habits nowadays. (although the book said it is possible, especially when you start with slender petite body and small amount of fat to cover your womb! But the book also said it might be because your tummy is full of gas & constipation (ewww....) and also might be because you put on weight too much!)

Finally went to a doctor on Friday. I had a blood test to check my immune system and iron and all, also to check if I am 'well and truly pregnant', since I complaint that I don't think I was sick enough, that I was tired enough to be pregnant.
She said if I didn't hear from them that mean everything is good. Except then I remembered that I didn't actually fill in any patient information record the other day. I had to ring them today to make sure that they had my details. Fortunately they did, they said they must have put it in the system when I made my bookings.
Well hopefully I won't hear anything from them.

Also finally rang National Women's Health Hospital to find out if there's any midwives that can look after my pregnancy. Gave them my details, and the lady on the other side said, "Thank you, the midwife will contact you within 2 weeks." Whaaat??
Glad I rang them now instead of next week!

Tue 25 July
Went to work assignment today. How horrible! I was sitting there minding the phone - except it didn't ring a lot and most of the time doing nothing. Internet didn't work, I dont' know why. They didn't give me any other works. My back was sore sitting all day and I couldn't distract my mind on anything else - so I felt sick all day.

They wanted me to come back the next day, but I made up my mind not to. I had to tell fibe to the agent by saying I have other assignment somewhere else. And the great thing about being pregnant is, Scott didn't have any saying about me not continuing my job (it's only a day anyway!). Although I did wonder myself, if I was just purely lazy.

Doctor rang and said I had a very high iron level. Which was fine during the pregnancy, but it was very high that she wants to make sure that it was correct so I had to do another test - when I had my blood test last week the lady at the lab was soo useless. Had to prick the needles into both of my arms, and still couldn't get enough blood. Needless to say, I won't be going back there again this time.

Email from Karen, Scott's sister:

Congratulations again. That's lovely news. Very exciting. I hope it all
goes well for you both :)

I told the kids last night and they were over the moon with excitement. As
I said, they frequently ask when you're going to have a baby. When I got
off the phone, Chloe said - mum why did you say congratulations? And I
said "guess" and she said - they won the lotto - and I said no - and then
she had another guess (cant remember what that was), and then she guessed
the baby. And they all squealed and Chloe said that was the first thing I
was thinking and hoping but thought no it wont be.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Week 7 - Where did they go?

I got up this morning feeling fine - Too fine in fact. My boobsies stopped growing overnight, I didnt feel sick when I woke up this morning. I am so worried. As the day passed I gradually felt a bit sicker but I am still not convinced.

I am having trouble finding the maternity carer as well. Turned out in New Zealand only the appointed Leading Maternity Carers can look after the pregnancy. It can be a midwife, a GP or an obstetrician. If it's midwife or a GP then all of your expenses are free. But turned out that many GPs are not providing maternity care anymore, and there are only so many of midwives that they are overbooked too. Many of the obstetricians offer fixed price to look after the pregnancy from the antenatal to the postnatal care, including birth. But the problem is, we don't know where we are going to be for the birth. Yet.

I rang a medical centre yesterday only to talk to an idiot who didn't have any clue about what's going on.

This is how it went:
Me: "I am looking for a lady doctor to look after my pregnancy."
Him: "Oh, we're pretty busy at the moment. You just want to have a pregnancy test, do you? Any nurse can do it, I can recommend you to go to the Accident and Emergency Clinic down the road."
Me: "Sorry, you misunderstood. I know I am pregnant. I have had a test. I need someone to look after my pregnancy, I don't need any test"
Him: "Oh i see. I'll have to check with the doctor if any of them can give you an appointment. So you just want the doctor to check the baby, don't you? Or do you need consultation yourself?"
Me: "Hang on. I am confused, I think you're confused. There isn't any baby yet. I am pregnant. I need consultation, not the baby"


Ergo the quest for the doctor continues...(he actually said he was going to ring me back but it's already 24 hours and I haven't heard from him.)

PS. Suddenly everyone talks about baby and our plan about having one - and I had to keep my mouth shut. We're not telling anyone at least until I see a proper doctor.

19 July (wed) Gita had a baby yesterday but when I asked for details she asked me if I was sure I wanted to know the details. It'd put you off, she said. I said, of course I need details. It's part of the considerations".