All you need is love...

Mum's gone home after 2 months staying with us to help me out. She wanted to stay longer but there wasn't any seat available during June when we tried to change her flight. Although she seemed to be sadder to leave Oli than me.

She left me with hundreds questions: how am I going to survive without her? What am I going to eat? I suddenly feel like a grown up. I am not playing house - I am running a household and a family now!! EEKS...

Anyway, it's now half a week since she's gone. We are okay - Oli and I. Trying to settle into routine without my mother. So far I have only text-ed her less than 10 times regarding my worries. See, this is the only thing I hate about parenting - I am sooo neurotic (and a bit of hypochondriac) and trust me it's not much fun worrying about your little person. And why is parenthood is all about trial and error - I don't want to run experiments to my child, I just want to do everything right for him!).

I saw those mothers I saw walking down the streets with two kids, usually one toddler and one baby and I asked Scott, "How do you think they manage it? If you have a 2 years old child who is still demanding a lot of your time, and you need to feed a newborn every 2.5 hours, and that each feed takes about one hour, when do you have time for the older one?"

His answer: "impossible, Linda, impossible."

PS. We're having a mothers club meeting next week, and as Scott put it, many new mothers only got interested in mothers club after their mothers had gone home.

Brand New Day

Everyday is a brand new day. Well, not exactly right for me, as everyday is a repeat from the other day. Just like the groundhog day. It's a repeat from yesterday - wake up, feed the baby, change nappies, you get the point.

But for Oli, this little baby who did not even existed in the world ten weeks ago, everyday is indeed a brand new day.
Discovering new things. Learning new things. Understanding.

Scott went away for two nights and his comment when he got home was "Oli was like a stranger to me. He's grown, his face is different, and he seems to understand what's going on."
How true. How amazing.

He started talking about two weeks ago and now seems can't get enough of coo-ing and goo-ing. (You'd say: "No more talking, mister. It's bed time" and he starts giggle and talking back). He only just found his fingers (only his left ones, the right hand is yet to be discovered), and he is mastering it by frantically trying to put them in his mouth whenever there is a chance. We put his down for his bedtime, all relaxed and zen, and fifteen minutes later he cried. When we checked on him, he was too busy sucking his thumb and too awake to put himself to sleep. (Though I am glad I quickly realised that sucking his thumb does not mean that he is hungry)

Now I know how proud it feels to be a mother, even though I share it with millions others (being a mother, I mean). I am so proud just looking him grow, looking at him putting on weight, smiling at me - just basically being him. Watching him mastering his body is exciting.

As something that I read somewhere, 'you want to show your baby to the whole world but most important is that you want to show the whole world to your baby'. That is so true. And all I need in return is his smile. That's all I need!

First Mother's day

To all the mothers in the world (and especially my mother): HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

I didn't think Mother's day would feel different from usual. But strangely, it did. Granted, I am a Mother now, but still, it feels surreal. I am proud to be mother - which is funny, why would you be proud?

(Because it is the most tiring yet fulfilling job. It is indeed the most important job in the world!)

Things I love being a mother

It might be too soon to find out all the good things about motherhood, but these are the things I found out already - things I love being a mother:

* His first, second, and third smiles... and more

* Feeling a tiny fist curl around your finger when you touch his palm

* Putting the sole of his feet on your cheeks, and see him rewarding you with a smile

* The smell of his hair, the softness of his cheeks, and the warmth of his skin

* Watching him sleeping (for a looong time and never get tired of doing it) and wondering what the future holds for him

* Sneaking into his room to check on him, just to find out the second you step into the room he turn his face around and bright eyes looking straight at you - and cry for attention

* Watching him stop crying when he sees you

* When you cuddle him, he nestles on your shoulder and snugs in the crease of your neck

* When he falls into a deep sleep in your arms